Who Took the Sacred Out of Service? An Article by Carol Gino

Dear Blog Peeps!

For my last blog post of the year, I am proud to share with you a link to an article which has been written by my friend, Carol Gino.  I encourage you to visit Carol's blog for pertinent information about the challenges and opportunities in the nursing profession.

 http://hopefulhealer.com/

Learn more about this amazing, passionate and powerful woman below:
"Carol Gino RN, MA, has been a nurse, author and teacher for many years. She has worked in all areas of nursing including Emergency Room, Intensive Care, the Burn Unit, Medicine, Surgery, Pediatrics, Pediatric   Intensive Care, and Hospice Care for the terminally ill.

Her first book “The Nurse’s Story” published by Simon and Schuster sold to nine foreign countries. It is still in print in Japan. It was a feature of the Book of the Month Club and Nurses Book Club and was on PW’s list for six weeks. It was #2 on the Los Angeles Times list. Carol did two cross-country tours for The Nurse’s Story: which included TV, radio and print media.

She has appeared several TV and radio shows including “The Today Show”, “Charlie Rose”, “Houston Live”, “Regis”, “AM Los Angeles”, “AM San Francisco” etc.. The Nurse’s Story was serialized in the New York Daily News, Chicago Tribune, Washington Post etc.. People Magazine did a feature article on her, and she has been highlighted in many other local and national papers.

She has written articles for New York Magazine (aka Teri Daniels) American Journal of Nursing, and other Nursing Mags. Three of her articles were published in Nursing ’97 (the largest nursing journal – circulation of over 350,000.) Three of her stories and several editorials appeared in Nursing ‘98.

Ms. Gino’s second book “Rusty’s Story” sold 350,000 copies and again, Carol did a 15 city media tour. That book received the Epilepsy Association’s National Book Award and was on the New York Times bestseller list for 5 weeks. She also received the Service Award from the Epilepsy Association of Ohio and spoke to many epilepsy associations across the country. Ciba Geigy made her their spokesperson for the anti-convulsion drug, Tegretol. And another media tour followed.

In 1997, Kensington Books published Carol Gino’s new book about the death of her grandson: “Then An Angel Came…” Both her previous books, “The Nurse’s Story” and “Rusty’s Story” have been reprinted.

Ms. Gino still acts as a Nursing consultant in Healing Imagery for Total Care Home Health Care agency. Her Masters in Transpersonal Studies focused on new modalities for healing, changes in consciousness, and cross-cultural healing.

“The Nurse’s Story” screenplay was completed by Mario Puzo. It has been submitted for a feature film or major TV series.

Ms. Gino was a keynote speaker at the National SIDS Convention in Dallas Texas in 1997, and she was also a speaker at the Bereavement Convention in upstate New York, entitled “Helping Families Cope with Grief” in Tarrytown.

The trade paperback edition of “Then An Angel Came” was released in September 1997 by Kensington Books.

She began her own publishing house called Starwater Press Ltd. in 1987 to publish spiritual and angel books and tapes long before they were in mainstream consciousness. Since then she has also started aah-ha! Books in 1996 (Help for Hard Times – clear and simple) for her more mainstream titles.

Carol Gino was the long time companion of author Mario Puzo for 20 years until his death in 1999 and in 2001 completed his book “The Family” which was published by Judith Regan of Harper Collins. It too was a best seller".

May Peace be with you all during the holiday, and during every day.

Lori

You Can Lead a Nurse to Water But Then, What Ever Will They Bitch About?

I am the proud founder of Nurse Your Spirit, LLC, a holistic counseling and healing practice.  As a registered nurse, metaphysician and certified practitioner, my goal or my speciality if you will is to assist other nurses who are experiencing the horrors of burnout to recognize that this highly toxic experience is actually a gift.   Yes indeed, a gift in the form of subconscious choices that you have made along the way.  Choices which lead to opportunities for growth, the big red bow on the top being the resurrection of one's self worth, the ability to heal one's self and others from a place of compassion, comfort in the task to aid in the energetic healing of the planet.  The spontaneous occurrence of experiencing inner cohesion and happiness.  Doesn't that sound amazing? 
Knock Knock!  Doesn't it!?

Seriously.  Who wouldn't (in their right mind)  desire this?

Nurses. That's who. 

I have counseled massage and occupational therapists, pharmacists, Reiki practitioners and psychics, radio personalities, makeup artists and alternative healers, yet, not one nurse.



Do you know why?


Nurses are highly intelligent. Of course you do!

(This is a much simpler formula than calculation drip rates, seriously)...

Nurses love to complain.  If you fix yourself, there is no more blame.  Scary!

I can say this with confidence because I walked in those clunky clogs for over twenty years.   There are complaints about the paperwork, the insubordination of aides and patient care technicians, the nurse to patient ratios, the lack of managerial support.  The distaste regarding the aspect of nursing being "customer service", not being able to spend more time with your patients, the green -behind- the -ears  new know-it-all interns showing up in July, never getting a lunch break, disgruntled patients and family members....  I know I need not continue.

I am going to use a hospital environment as an example.  Working on a hospital unit is a creepy poison.  When it gets under your skin and into your veins, there is a sinister comfort.  Yes, that's right.  You drink the Kool-Aid.  You get locked into the web of darkness, and feel safe. 

You form deliciously delectable dysfunctional and codependent relationships and bonds with people who's company you'd probably never seek outside of the workplace.  You literally get off on talking about others behind their backs.  The private jokes are practically orgasmic!  The laughs and sense of connection you feel are more valuable than anything!  They like me.  They really, really like me!

If you look inward at your own dysfunctions ( yep, we all have em ), then you will have to take a good long look at yourself and hold yourself responsible for your own feelings and corresponding behaviors.  When you accomplish this, you realize that you cannot change the system, but you have the power to create a healthy way to survive in it, via personal accountability. There's serious power in this, yet therein lies the fear.

You lose the excuse to bitch and moan about everything under the sun.

Now listen, I am a really nice person and a caring counselor with compassion.  Yet this particular blog topic is imperative, so I give myself permission to be particularly snarky about it.

Sooner or later, the reality will set in.  You will run out of steam.  You will realize that this muck no longer serves a purpose.  The system will not change.  Your perceptions of it along with your corresponding behaviors will. 

With said compassion and because you are worthy, I will wait for you.

 When you are ready, visit Nurse Your Spirit. 

Giving Thanks for the Gift of Sweet Sweet Crisis

The idea that the recognition of crisis in one’s life serves as an opportunity for growth and joy continues to be validated in the most marvelous ways! When sources of stress and pain no longer serve a purpose, we are left emotionally peeled down and raw, energetically left with only our reality. In a sense, we back ourselves into a corner subconsciously, in an effort to heal from the inside out, from our spiritual core to our physical existence.


How long this takes naturally varies from person to person and issue to issue.

Often, the intellectual mind will spin our realities, offering us false justifications, a toxic vortex of smart sounding and witty rationales in an ultimately thwarted effort to remain stuck. We fearfully hide behind the veil of being somewhat of an enigma.  We may be lying to ourselves, but it’s hardly convincible to others.  Some never fully stop the spin, unfortunately.  Many do, and it is an honor to witness.

Why on earth would we want to remain stuck in pain?

Because we know that in that pain is a protective cloak. If we remain stuck, we don’t have to address our own demons. We know that doing this is hard work, and very emotional. We know that it will create inner turmoil because our relationships will be altered and mostly, we actualize that we must suddenly be accountable for our own actions. There will be no more blaming the system, the parent, the spouse, the child or the lover. We know that we will have to take responsibility for our own actions, emotions and behaviors. What we are unable to see while we are intoxicated by these self inflicted numbing falsehoods is that taking responsibility for one’s own life is not only a lot of  hard heart work, but it is beautiful and empowering.  A gift all wrapped up with your name on it, signed, sealed and delivered from the universe.  All you have to do is to have faith, and open it.

When one has backed themselves into this dark and murky corner filled with inner demons and cob webs, give thanks for the ability to actually see this darkness. Realize that on a level far beyond human comprehension, we are led to this place in order to heal, in order to crystallize our vision so that we may view our surroundings in a sublimely divine manner. In that crack of light is our invitation to self empowerment as a result of the beautiful and subtle energetic shifts which spontaneously occur during this process.

Show gratitude for the gift of Grace which allows us to grow and which stays with us when we are most afraid of this darkness. Stay spiritually and emotionally fit by continually being a living example of love and compassion. Guard yourself from negativities through boundaries, not walls. Love thyself enough to stay self empowered.

Above all, always remember to Nurse Your Spirit!

Coffee Table Discussion: An Engineer's Take on the "Inevitability of Burnout"

My husband comes from a family of engineers. If you have been reading my work, you know that from my standpoint, there are energetic tugs that work alongside natural aptitudes which cause one to be led to a particular profession, the deepest essence of this concept being karmic. My husband is an engineer. Far be it from me to categorize personality traits within particular careers (hardy har har), but my darling spouse is very linear and methodical in his thinking.

He explains concepts and ideas in the form of plots, graphs and diagrams in the air, with his hands. Poor guy can’t help it, he is who he is. Every single cell in his beautiful existence is literally marinated in this approach to all things. He deeply resonates with the concepts of fact, scientific models and proof derived from controlled experiments. This being said, he is somewhat of an enigma, as indicated by his interest in spiritual and metaphysical realms. He is also very interested in the cohesiveness between spirituality, metaphysics and science. What is interesting to me is how he approaches his studies and research of such immeasureable concepts in a highly organized and scientifically derived manner. The hubster learns by reading and gathering information from various sources that he deems reliable and capable. He then takes this information, and surmises a conclusion.  He embarks on a search, if you will, of externally derived knowledge.

So, this morning we were discussing my last blog post. Here is the link.  Being ever the true gentle man, he said something like, “great blog hon, I’m just intrigued. Why did you imply that all nurses get burnout? Don’t you think there are any nurses who are happy? The ones who go about their day, enjoy their job, their lives”?

(Even though the blog was focused on the importance of understanding that there is no distinction between anyone who heals, only the method with which they resonate to heal others differs, for the sake of simplicity, I will continue to use the word “nurse”, as we did in our conversation)

We discussed my take on the wording of this piece, and the conversation got colorful when I suggested that this blog was written authentically and derived from my innate state of knowing, and I told him that nurses may think they are happy, and not think they are experiencing burnout on a conscious or subconscious level.  Yet, they would probably be in the throes of a dysfunctional mind set to some degree, and/or that any toxicity they may be experiencing at a particular point is serving them a purpose. This is actually a clever avoidance tactic.  By avoiding addressing the bad stuff, they don’t have to address personal points for growth, and they can continue to blame their coworkers and the system for stuff. (Some folks find weird strength in bitch sessions, an illusion of power and strength in numbers- a misery-loves-company-bizarre-clique sort of thing).

I believe that healers are attracted to healing in order to eventually heal themselves. I even believe that we choose our lifetimes and our lessons. Here is what I mean.  Please keep in mind that this is a very nut-shelled version:

1: Agree to lifetime, learning and opportunities to achieve goal (which on a human level you are not aware of).  This is Divine Knowledge.


2: Realize an energetic pull or attraction to healing others.


3: Burnout/Crisis occurs.


4: Self Healing and energetic contagiousness occurs by addressing Burnout.  (Amazing experiences while reaping the rewards of your hard work)


5: You Flourish, feel sense of balance, poise and self worth.


6:  If this lifetime lesson agreement is unaddressed/unresolved-go back to #1.



So anyway, when we boiled it and boiled it, I realized that his concern was that I would be alienating a certain demographic. My practice is less than a year old, and that’s certainly counterproductive. Not only that, but I am really a very nice person, am sensitive and really dislike hurting or angering anyone, this he knows very well.

But here’s the thing. I rely on internally derived knowledge.  The older I get, the more intense the trust is.  I trust this as my darling trusts his research.  I am not a studier, per se. I don’t learn well that way. Reading, even though I love writing, is laborious and tedious to me. While I am quite nicely educated, the process was never truly smooth or easy. I relied on the help of friends and my good ole’ instinct. There are no hard and cold facts about this whole nurse burnout/ healer burnout discussion. One can assume, based on being in the profession for a while, reading statistics and the like, that there is a good scientific probability that many nurses are. Yet, as a metaphysician, I am an intuitive “knower”. My intuition is my guide, and intuition is direct Divine knowledge in my book. Divine Knowledge is never wrong, it simply is.


I know it in my core center that inevitably, healers of any description have levels of burnout. Whether they choose to address it or not is a different story.

These truths of mine are certainly not crafted to be suggestive, therefore the intention is not for you to choose to feel as though I am pigeon holing you by giving you no gray areas to work with. These truths are written from this perspective: if you resonate with this information, you do. If you don’t, you probably really seriously and absolutely do not. Yet the hope is that if you fall into the latter category, you will allow this concept to unfold in your heart when it beckons you to do so.

After this valued discussion with my best friend, my ideals and concepts, my “knowing” was not threatened, it was validated and strengthened. A blog written yesterday on the lack of distinction between any sort of healer, and the rationales as to why people serendipitously are attracted to healing others morphed into an enlightening opportunity. 

Is one method necessarily right or wrong in obtaining information and developing personal realities better or worse than the other?  Hardly, for there are many paths to One Truth. 

How Divine.

Thanks, honey.


Nurse Your Spirit!

This Just In: Nurse Burnout Shares Space With Other Healers

Image from alexgrey.com

 When you hear the word “healer”, what impressions are awakened and who do you think of? Most of us would naturally have an image of a well seasoned physician, a nurse in the trenches of a 12 hour shift or on the other spectrum, a Tibetan Lama or a Native American Medicine Man. Perhaps a wizard with a wand? Alakazam! How about an evangelist slamming his palm into a desperate disciple’s forehead, proclaiming that they will walk again? Then there is the lady with the crystal ball, the massage therapist, the Reiki practitioner, and the Buddha. What does the word healer mean? What does it mean to heal others? By pondering these questions, we healer folk will realize that there is no distinction between any of us. We are all on the same frequency, and the only issues that differ are the methods with which we are most intrinsically aligned. Therefore I digress, is there really “another spectrum” at all?

So let’s start peeling back this rose bud. Onions are okay also, but roses smell better. Use whatever visual geometry or olfactory sensibility which causes your heart to best connect with the concept. The act of healing is to have the desire to cure and or restore an individual to a state of health, ‘desire’ being the operative term. What is desire? Desire is not only the concrete ‘wanting’ of something, but it derives from a source which magnetically echoes and mirrors our authentic selves. Therefore, the act of healing or being a healer is a core truth, a trait, an archetype so to speak. It cannot be helped. This is a state of being which simply is, and as I previously mentioned, how one implements this self truth is the only distinction. The healer simply goes about their lives and purely energetically stumbles upon opportunities to cure and restore others to a state of health, by way of the law of attraction.


What is health? Very basically it is a state of balance and homeostasis; it is a condition where all the aspects of one’s selves are functioning beautifully and perfectly, because of the total sum of one self’s parts. This concept incorporates the multi faceted qualities of an individual, as well.


So a healer is an individual who has the desire through a mirror image of their authentic selves to restore others to a state of balance, personal cohesion and perfection. Does this broadened definition expand your perspective as to who a healer might be? It does for me. Suddenly, family caregivers, pastors, the go-to person in a family setting, a parent, a teacher, a public service worker and a best friend come to mind.


For optimal health and homeostasis to be realized, there are multiple groups of systems which require balance, for example, the physical systems, such as respiratory, cardiovascular and circulatory, muscular- skeletal, genito-urinary, etc. One with an interest and aptitude for human physiology with a healing core truth/ trait/archetype will most possibly find themselves becoming attracted to such careers as nursing, becoming a physician, or other professional clinical health related field.


Another group of human characteristics that make up a system which when functioning optimally results in a deep experience of wellness is the mind/body/spirit relationship. When there is an appreciation and acknowledgement of these states of interconnected attributes, there is a sense of balance, well being and this goes along with having a sense of connectedness to all living things, all of nature. The individual with a healing core truth/trait/archetype and an innate magnetic resonance to the subtle connections between the mind body and spirit may find themselves working as a holistic healer, counselor, an energy healer, or a spiritual nutritionist, for example.


A pastor identifies with healing humanity on a spiritual level; a mother, father grandparent or close relative intuitively is aware how to keep their children whole and is so deeply connected to them that they would rather suffer their pain for them, and so on.




By now, you are able to understand how an aptitude in addition to a core truth/trait/archetype will manifest into a particular method of healing, whether it is traditional, non-traditional, intentional or serendipitous in scope and nature.


What causes one to experience burnout if they are simply existing as their authentic selves and doing so many good things for so many people? Because of the healer’s natural propensity to do for and serve others, a possible subliminal expectation from the receiver of the healing can occur, creating a toxic feeling of resentment from the standpoint of the healer. A spiritual healer can experience burn out when they become energetically attached to the results of their client’s circumstances or lose faith in their work when the end result is not favorable, and spiritual healers are especially sensitive to others energies. A traditional healing professional, such as a nurse, physician or other skilled healthcare worker who enters their profession with a passionate heart may quickly feel the toxic effects of burnout, for corporate and top heavy conglomerate companies can represent the very antithesis of compassion. Very compassionate nurses and other traditional practitioners also tend to be very sensitive to surrounding energies. The healing professional is forced to be attached to the results of their care which comes at them from a point of accountability. This, albeit important, is the crux of the issue. To give compassionate care means to be unattached to the results. This equates the necessity for healthy boundaries and a good solid poised center. (What a circuitous yet marvelously designed roundabout way to develop these important truths).


As a nurse, a metaphysician, a holistic healer and the founder of a counseling practice I feel as though burnout is not preventable. I feel it is inevitable, and when it is recognized and embraced, it will be seen as what it represents: a pre destined gift, an opportunity for growth and a chance to develop inner peace and heightened sense of knowing.


To imply that burnout is preventable is to in a way invalidate one’s core truth, or archetype, and to deny the very human aspect of the healer. Every step that is made on our path is on behalf of our predetermined set of life lessons, blessings, riches and experiences. While externally derived comforts such as aromatherapy, (retail therapy) and fun nights out offer a temporary ease and escape from the symptoms, there are methods which are create a constant internal flow of love, peace and poise. But that’s the next publication.


In the meantime, Nurse Your Spirit!

The Two and a Half Year Old Healer

Last evening, I was enjoying a moment of solitude on my sofa in the living room. My feet were kicked up on a pillow and I was in the throes of a crossword puzzle, my new and really enjoyable hobby, when my 2 1/2 year old granddaughter who was visiting hopped up into my lap. I watched her gaze at my feet intently and was waiting for her to comment on the nail polish on my toes. She looked at the outside of my left ankle and tenderly stated, “Bamma need a ban-aid”! Before I had a chance to ask for an explanation, she skipped over to the infamous kitchen junk drawer, pulled out a Dora the Explorer brand bandage from the box, grabbed a diaper wipe from her little Minnie Mouse back pack and got to work.


She wiped my ankle clean and left it with the smell of aloe and love. Her little fingers peeled the wrapping off of the bandage and with surgical precision, placed it onto my skin. After she got up to toss the wrapper into the trash, she joyfully re-approached me, and covered my ankle with little kisses, proclaiming that I was now “all bettah”.

Are we born to be healers and providers of caring and love to others, or is this a process which is learned and environmental in concept? We are a big, loving, close and passionate family. We care about and for each other very carefully, and I suppose that little Tinkerbella was simply emulating the care which we readily provide her in the event of incurring an owie. I wonder if it is this emulation which resonates with her very soul. Not all children are as ready to give of themselves to others. This tiny lady of ours pats our pillows to tell us it is time to go to sleep, covers our feet with blankets and takes very special care of her “babies” (dolls). She is quite insightful, we notice, and especially sensitive and empathetic when she senses something has or is going awry, often times before we even realize that something is happening.

While we foster this trait in her, we also don’t want her to feel as though it is expected of her, for it is our charge as her grandparents to care for and nurture her. Her father, our son feels the same. This being said, her caring and healing for others is as much a part of her as her love of going to play at Chuck E Cheese, her new scooter, Brussels sprouts (yes-she loves them), and…Dora.

After she went home with her Daddy last night, I got ready for bed and took a look at my ankle. I removed the bandage, and although there was no pain, scratch or obvious need for it, the ankle was actually swollen. I replaced the bandage as a symbol of the message that she brings to our hearts, and that is that we are who we are, no matter what we are exposed to. We are our authentic selves, and we are just who, and how we are supposed to be, for the highest good of all.

http://www.nurseyourspirit.com/

Nurses: Is it Burnout or "Burn-In"?

(This work is also published on http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Lori_Daniell where you can enjoy a bunch of my articles)!  One is more smarty pants than the next.  Let the good times roll!

Any nurse can tell you how difficult it is, even under the best of circumstances and having a light patient load with safe acuities that there are many factors in a traditional healthcare setting which are catalysts to all of those horribly toxic and mind numbing issues which cause burnout. Just for fun, I’ll name some. I bet you can quite easily develop a repetitive motion neck injury by nodding your head in agreement, so don your brace now.

Bad attitudes from staff, unrealistic patient and family expectations, lack of quality managerial support, weak leadership, poor communication, increased documentation, blurred responsibilities, decreased quality time with your patients, robotic routines, insubordination, having to tolerate cliques in your work environment, bullies, mandatory committee involvement and wearing your multitudes of hats such as clinician, magician, psychotherapist, pastor and master coordinator extraordinaire…..alright, enough! Please do not click the X right now. I know that this can really help you and create a new and refreshing manner of thinking about your career.

Really!

Here is a disclaimer, though. Sometimes people for whatever reason choose to stay stuck in their lusciously mucky misery and not want to address these issues and here are the reasons why. When we enter a process whereby we really begin to explore the ways to improve our lives, often this entails having to address personal and deeply resonating self attributes: the good, the bad and the horrible. This energetically and automatically leads to having to “own” or be responsible for our perceptions, actions and correlating behaviors. When we claim ownership for our own behaviors, there is no one to blame, no excuse to whine and the table turns inward.

When we are responsible for ourselves, there is no more external finger pointing or blaming the admittedly broken system. By fixing ourselves and our perceptions of the challenges which the traditional healthcare setting are marinated in, we not only can affect the quality of our own lives, but by virtue of the laws of attraction, we can alter the dysfunctional behaviors of our peers, our unit, our entire place of work, our profession!

No, this is not magical thinking in the manner it seems. There are no wands, nor are there packets of happy dust or LSD for you to sprinkle in your co-workers coffee when they aren’t looking. This technique if you will is magical in that it is so simple, yet so effective and powerful. You know how laughter is contagious? That is pure energy! When you look inward with determination and the promise of living a life filled with joy, enjoying your work again and healing your patients from a place of compassion instead of a place of dread and duty, your environment will have no choice to be responding in kind. This is pure energy! You contagious Happy Camper Nurse, You! With this guidance, you can begin to heal our profession, one nurse at a time!

Earlier I described all of the real and lousy things that create such a dire work environment. If you notice, they are all issues which happen “to” us in any given shift. Where is our control? No matter how we try, how much we cry, how many times we threaten to quit, how many times we actually do quit only to find another job position with the same issues, just different faces, this stuff still happens extrinsically, or outside of ourselves.

Here is why these circumstances occur, based on my clients feedback and years of research. We “burnout”. If we move the focus away from outside ourselves and focus inward, we will realize that it is our perception which will enhance our lives, and all of the marvelous correlating perks that go along with it that we do indeed have control over will be ours to enjoy. No, I am not suggesting that you lie down, die and take it. I am suggesting that you accept what you can control, and that is your beautiful and amazing self.

When we enter a situation at work where burnout is rampant, and we try and try to just get through our day without attempting to adjust our perceptions of this mess, there are reasons for that. This may be getting really deep, yet issues such as self worth, self esteem, unresolved childhood or karmic (or both) traumas which lead us to be called to heal others. This lot consistently looks outside them for its definition of self, therefore blames people, environments and circumstances when dissatisfaction occurs.

This is what I refer to as the “burn in” aspect of burnout. The issue becomes not how miserable our work environment is (external/burnout), but how we choose to perceive and react to our work environment. When this is unaddressed for whatever reason, this is what I refer to as (internal/burn-in).

By virtue of the very definition of nursing, combined with our profession’s dynamic challenges, I honestly feel that it is fair to say that burnout, or external magnets for ulcers will always be a part of our equation. Yet, you have heard you call to heal others, and you worked hard to become a nurse.

Get your big girl and boy Pull-Ups on and let’s address why we are burned in.

There are two keys which open the door to your Kingdom of contagious joy and happiness in the profession of nursing, or in all healing professions, for that matter: Your Self Love and correlating healthy boundaries. You love and care about yourself enough to not allow the unaddressed and dysfunctional energies of others into your being. Period. We cannot necessarily choose our work environments, but we can indeed choose to determine how we will allow it to affect our wellbeing.

When we with intention deliberately stand firm in who we are and project this awareness in our carriage and responses to situations, practically anything can come your way and you will remain poised and focused. On the flipside, when our energies are scattered and we lack purpose, when we are emotionally and physically fatigued from a wicked morning and you have 6 more hours to go, you are a veritable sponge and soak up your surrounding negativities. When you enter your shift with an innate knowing that you will do your very best and embrace boundaries, with practice you will be blown away with the positive and grateful comments that you receive! Now hang on, I am not suggesting that you tell your manager that you won’t perform a task because you are engaging in Self love and boundary work. There are still some things in your role which you will have to continue to do, yet this is a great exercise in tolerance and accepting what your accountabilities are while embracing the concepts which I have outlined. In this instance, you would choose to not allow your manager’s authoritarian or rude tone to be a perpetuation of negative energy, yet you will still perform the task because it is within your role to do so.

Are you up for the challenge? Let’s heal our profession, one healer at a time.  http://www.nurseyourspirit.com/

Happy Pondering!

How do these quotes resonate with your authentic healer archetpye?

Feeling Groovy

It is not necessary to deny another's reality

in order to affirm your own.

~Anne Wilson Schaef

The drop grows happy by losing itself in the river.

~Mirza Ghalib

The snow goose need not bathe to make itself white.

Neither need you do anything but be yourself.

    

~Lao-Tzu

I CAN is 100 times more important than IQ.” — unknown

I was always looking outside myself

for strength and confidence,

but it comes from within.

It is there all the time.

~Anna Freud

Truly it is in the darkness that one finds the light,

so when we are in sorrow,

then this light is nearest of all to us.

~Meister Eckhart

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe,

deserve your love and affection.

~The Buddha

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light not our darkness that frightens us.

~Marianne Williamson

"Just Relax"

Alrighty then nurse person, so you cry on your way to work, fantasize about moving to a mountain top with a shaved head while cradling a book titled "How to Obtain Enlightenment in Three Days", and are enjoying your 5th diagnosed bladder infection in the last 6 months. Being an avid supporter of probiotics you realize if you eat one more lousy spoonful of yogurt you will quite simply toss cookies, and just the idea of slathering this refrigerated dairy food complete with fruit chunks onto your urethra is actually enjoyable at this point. Enter reality. As you take your morning report and begin your rounds, one of your patients replies to your luke warm "good morning" by threatening to choke you if you don't medicate them for their pain. 7:34 AM, but look at the bright side. You only have 11 and half hours to go.

You aren’t sure how to accurately describe the zone you just entered, but for some reason, thanks to some form of grace, you are in your car, ready to escape the madness. The minutes turned into hours, the hours melted into some sort of inexplicable space in time. The blisters on your heels are oozing and raw. As always, there is a nagging sense that you forgot to report something, or that something will go wrong as a result of something that you did or didn’t do. You fleetingly consider returning to the unit to make sure that you dotted "T"s and crossed your "I"s. (Yes, I realize that this was reversed, but you are delirious). There is a quickening in your step as you struggle with the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other. You limp aimlessly toward your vehicle. You’d run if you could.

You manage to start the ignition of your car and peel off your shoes and socks that tell the story of the angst and pain that you have witnessed and endured. As you operate your motor vehicle, the trees that pass you by turn into looming shadows which tell stories of the promise of darkness. A song comes on the radio that eventually becomes a part of a dream which you will never remember. In your driveway you realize that you do not recall the drive home.

A probably well meaning yet horribly ignorant family member tells you how lousy you look and possibly asks you what’s for dinner. Your forehead becomes intimately close with your kitchen counter, and you may even at this point wonder how many bashings it would take in order for you to lose consciousness and at the same time, you cannot possibly endure any more pain. As you weep, the good intentioned sap has an epiphany. The words uttered out of their mouth actually sound something like this: “Just relax”!

Your exhausted mind bends and twists in an attempt to comprehend. Did this person just tell me to…relax?

Oh, ok.

How on earth can a professional healthcare provider such as a nurse just relax? What that statement actually indicated was that the well meaning idiot cannot deal with how your stress affects them, or is simply at a loss to fully comprehend exactly what it is that a nurse endures during a work shift. Join the club you think, because neither can you. I mean, it’s not that you haven’t dabbled in aromatherapy, enjoyed some retail therapy or possibly enjoyed a cocktail or ten with your comrades. Did those actions create a period of time when you felt relaxed? Possibly. Yet they were all temporary escapes.

These things are simply fugacious bleeps in time. Look at the trends. They are all extrinsically obtained environmental actions. You may as well have put a Dora the Explorer bandage on a cavernous, extravagating abdominal wound. A 0.009 cc of the blood will be absorbed into Dora, yet the goal is to stop the bleeding. Even more imperative is to determine the cause of the bleeding in the first place.

Nurse focused, integrated transpersonal counseling creates an environment where you will cycle back intrinsically to determine root causes for your authentically personal energetic attraction to healing others. By coming to terms with, and embracing these issues, you will cycle forward with fresh perspectives, learn healthy boundaries and enjoy your profession again. You will heal yourself and others from a place of compassion, despite non-compassionate healthcare work environments, learn how to achieve an incredible work-personal life balance and get that bounce back in your step.

Nurse Your Spirit, LLC based in Tucson, Arizona is a counseling practice devoted to you, the nursing professional. We pride ourselves on offering professional, affordable and rewarding methods of counseling such as individual sessions, meditation workshops, spontaneous pragmatic intuitive sessions and community events.

Nurse Your Spirit, LLC’s goal is to raise awareness and demolish the stigma that the individual nurse as well as the collective consciousness of the nursing profession largely subscribes to, which is that nurses do not need counseling. This is highly detrimental, however completely reasonable in the manner in which this notion is derived, as the very definition of nursing includes being an expert in the diagnosis of the human response to various conditions. After all, we are fixers of humans. We ourselves are human. Therefore we can fix ourselves.

Guess what my friends? You cannot do this alone. If you realize that you are apathetic or experiencing anxiety and dread when you even think about going to work, you need to be carefully and professionally guided back to your authentic joy.

Nurse Your Spirit, LLC not only offers face to face counseling in Arizona, but also offers telephonic and Skype sessions nationally.

Care to be contagious? What you learn about yourself will be magnetic, and those fortunate enough to be in your company will respond in kind.

At Nurse Your Spirit, LLC, we know that “Peaceful and cohesive healers create a peaceful and Cohesive Planet”.

Wounded Healer? Embrace Your Inner Buddha!

(This image is courtesy of lotuseaters.net)

Helping people feel better causes the compassionate heart to quicken it's beat.  True "Buddha Compassion", meaning being able to give completely without the expectation of anything in return, be it a thank you, or even the simple acknowledgement of your act, is the purest form of giving.  Giving from a pure and tender place in your Self which knows only real love.  An example of this kind of compassionate giving include acts that require no thought, such as grabbing someone out of harm's way. 

When you were energetically guided to be a healer, what was your trigger?  Are you able to recall the moment or circumstance which rang your internal bell, your calling to assist others in need?  The reason I ask is simple.  The answers you give are very telling.

On varying levels, healers subconsciously are led to healing others as a path to simultansously healing themselves.  While one may consciously be driven by strong Nightingalesque convictions, in our existence is housed both a place of Spirit as well as a place of ego.  This condition, also known as being human, creates opportunities in order to make us feel good about ourselves.  While the Spirit aspect of ourselves only knows true "Buddha Compassion", the ego only knows "feed me, nurture me, acknowledge me, stroke me, value me".

The Wounded Healer Archetype in healers is often the driving force, and the desire is lodged in the very DNA strands of the healer. (This gives us cause to believe that karmic fulfillment leads to lifetime choice wtih leads to a number of learning experiences through untoward circumstances and traumas, but that's another blog entry).  Healers are led to opportunities to help others, as during this time, the ego is fed, nurtured, acknowledged, stroked and valued.

Burnout, especially in nurses can occur as there is a clash between the ego and the Spirit.  The Spirit screams to give with compassion and be unattached to the results!  The ego beckons for a sense of self worth and self love extrinsically, or from outside of the Self, enter, the patient.  When the healer provides care to the ill or infirmed, often times it is thankless.  The ego rebels furiously!  Reactions escalate.  We tire.  We burn out.

How can we neutralize the burnout?  By adjusting the scales of your Ego/Spirit center.  When you are upset that your good deeds have gone unnoticed, take pause and have a talk with your Self.  Your Higher Self.  Ask your Spirit to guide you, demand that your ego take a back seat. 

Be confident and love yourself enough to give from your Spirit.  Carve out a little mecca for Buddha right in the center.  Your self healing is a beautiful process, your wounds are present as a gift of darkness, so that you may see the true light of your Being.

Love yourself enough to Nurse Your Spirit.

Nurse Campy Fancy Pants

Alright.  I get it.  I know.  Of course there are male nurses (Hi Dave!!), but this post makes total fun of female nurses who think they look really cool in scrubs.  Oh come on!  You know it as well as I do.  I sometimes think that the reason "they" became nurses, other than a karmic fulfillment or the need to be needed, for example, is that they actually like the way they look and feel in their scrubs.  Campy, foot loose and freaking fancy free in their well worn cotton. 

Ohh if only that fabric could talk, it could tell a gazillion stories about what has been splattered/sprayed/spilled/leaked/expelled/projected/ejected/squirted/spouted and spurted onto and into the very micro fibers of...those scrubs, into the cellular memory of this holy garment. Seriously, these are more than just duds one wears to work.

 

Behold the reverence.  

These leg coverings that reach to one's ankles with draw string waists are a living and walking testimony to the experiences of their hard core seasoned wearer.  They tell an incredible story, with the right attitude and accessories, of course. (More on this later).

I call these chicks Nurse Campy Fancy Pants. For now, I will refer to them as NCFP's.

Usually, in higher acuity settings such as NICU, ICU. CCU, OR, ER, Etc., the scrubs are less pretty, if you ask me.  That's how I have perceived it for the last couple of decades, anyway.  No flowers, hardly a Looney Toons Cartoon scrub to be found.  Betty Boop?  Fuggetaboutit. We are talking industrial quality- distressed - militant street-wear, the road warrior's identifier clothing.  Nothing cute about it.  This is serious, and everyone in the NCFP's vicinity will perceive it as such. 

You have your hard core cobalt blue that fades into a soft sky color, and the bright green that over a few hundred launderings  have literally "stood" witness to life, death and beyond, which then morphs into the standard tile color of the bathroom in a 1945 sanitarium. 

Not to mention the texture..WOW!  Soft..molded to the body, worn.  I'm talking practically see- through in all the "high friction areas".

Seriously, we all know what it's like to wear a new crisp pair of scrub pants.  I am sure any "normal sized" woman has experienced chafing, especially if the pants were not washed before wearing.  (Coincidentally, there is a DSM-IV code for this condition which is referred to as PDWUWSS - Premature Desire to Wear Un-Washed Scrubs Syndrome). 

Anyway, one day, NCFP wakes up, throws her hair in a bun and slips on her favorite bottoms.  Slips.  She develops a bounce in her hard core nurse campy fancy pants (NCFP) step, completes her hygeine and grooming regime, climbs in the car, and proceeds to her shift.  In terms of accessorizing, in her ears are a pair of twinkly sparkly silver dingle dangle earrings which she enjoys as a part of her whole look.  Ohhhhh!!!  She cannot wait til later.  The shoes, the revered clogs are worn.  They perfectly caress her pounding and striding tootsies like a glove and add a bit of personality to her step, as they slightly "clog" on the floor.  Did you know that?  High heels make a clicky sound, and clogs make a cloggy sound.  Get it straight.

Suddenly, it happens.  Her hair, while the majority of it remains loosely in the bun atop her pretty little fancy campy dome, begins to softly whisp from the top and the sides, a clear indication, a medal of valor, really, which sigh..gives ultimate permission to have the 'tude.  Later hath arrived.

The slipping on of the pants clearly is the reward of many intense shifts and act as the indication that, well, they are finally as well worn as she is.  The dingle dangle sparkles at the ends of her delicate lobes are the perfect juxtaposition, the perfect comparison, the perfect compliment to the whisp situation while the campy fancy pants are soft, so soft, so used, so experienced, and perfectly cover the planks that are supported by the clogging of the clog.  Herein lies, her story.  The story which is titled, "I am a Nurse.  A Nurse Campy Fancy Pants", Nurse.  Even this nurse should  Nurse Their Spirit!

Counseling for the Broken Nurse: What a Concept

Nurses are the givers and fixers, the healers and nurturers, the "go to" people.  We are the stronghold of traditional healthcare in our society.  We are the implementers of orders, the stop gap, the patient advocate.

We are the glue that keeps our shift together.  We are the care plan developers, the care coordinators, the documentors.  We are the IV starters, the medication administrators, the assessors.  We are code runners, the presence which soothes, the toe-taggers.  We are the clean up crew, the punching bag, the center of the patient's experience.  We are the bearers of bad news, the clergy, the teacher, the psychologist.  We are the ambulators, the lower extremity elevators, and safety monitors.

We are punched, hit, spat upon and subject ourselves to increasingly toxic body fluids and surroundings.  We do all this and more in a shift, and then go back for more.  We are accountable to our facility, their bottom lines, our patients. 

We become jaded.

We experience difficulty with communication, harrassment and feel underappreciated for what we do.  We encounter increasingly alarming amounts of responsibility to satisfy payor sources.  Sometimes, we don't sit down for 13 hours.  Hardly ever do we eat lunch.

We are so tired.

Our co - workers are strong and weak, experienced and green behind their ears, bitchy and soft, everyone experiencing their own phase in their career, everyone giving off and absorbing the energies of others.

We burn out.

We begin to respond to others and to circumstances through a veil of self protection.  We cry on the way to work, we cry during our shift, we cry on the way home.  We feel completely misunderstood.  We question why we "did this" to begin with, encourage nursing students to quit while they are ahead and experience panic and dread.

We are broken.

What access do you have in your facility to address nurse burnout?  Have you ever contacted your Employee Assistance Program (EAP) who then referred you to someone who half heartedly commiserated with the difficult profession that nursing is, and then they informed you to "learn how to relax"? 

Why, for the sake of all that is mighty and good would you place a 2x2 on the gaping wounds of your soul? 

Once identified, nurse burnout is entirely treatable.  Not only is nurse burnout treatable, but during your healing process, you will be able to cycle back to your past, revisit trends, then cycle forward with fresh and bountiful new perspectives.  You will actually experience joy and balance in your life.

Counseling is imperative, as it will not only save your profession, it can enhance your life, change your perceptions of your surroundings, and energetically beautify the lives of those whom are fortunate to be in your company. 

Please.  The time is now to Nurse Your Spirit.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is an outward act with enormously beautiful outcomes for yourself.  When one forgives, one energetically and automatically is given permission to detach from the negative circumstance. 

It may take a while to get to the point of forgiveness.  When we realize that holding on to the anger, shame and sadness associated with being wronged is no longer serving us a purpose, we let it go, let it fly into the ethers.

How, you may ask, is holding on to such dark feelings serving us a purpose?  Why do some people choose to stay stuck in the vortex of negativity? 

Very basically, when blame is placed on others, it provides a self serving platform on which we do not have to be responsible for ourselves, our actions, our feelings, our behaviors.  We justify our jadedness for the sake of not wanting to grow, or more likely, not feeling worthy enough to grow.  "The reason I am so miserable is because you made me feel that way.  I sort of like it this way, though, because when I am angry with you, it prevents me from having to deal with other things".

Truth be told, no one can "make" you feel any way.  You choose to feel how you feel.  Not a huge newsflash, yet it bears reiteration. 

Forgiveness can be truly frightening.  We can fear the unknown, we can fear the self accountability which is created by taking the wrong do-er off the hook. 

While this is difficult, as we tend to believe that the less we have to be responsible for makes for an easy breezy life, there is amazing self worth that occurs.  Self worth is Self love.  Self love is the energetic creation of healthy boundaries.

Forgiveness is empowering.

Have you forgiven someone today?

Why do nurses eat their young?

Typically, when mammals eat their young, it is an instinct which satisfies dominance.  There is a clear lack of emotional bond and attachment.  What creates their desire to dominate?  The young are simply perceived as a threat, that's what.   A threat to what, you ask?  To the natural progression of things.  To safety.  To the way things 'should' be.  Naturally, when referring to nurses who eat their young, they don't take a young-wet-behind-the-ears-new-graduate into the break room, season 'em up with condiments and literally ingest them.  Or, shall I say, I hope not.  Besides, this most probably requires the taking of a full lunch break, and who the heck has time for that. 

Let's be rationale.  For us human type mammals, it's safe to say that in this case, the word "eat" implies a sense of "control over", "I'll tell you a thing or two", and "who do you think you are bouncing in here all bright eyed and bushy tailed on my territory".  

Guess what it really means?

In case this is your first experience enjoying my blog, I like to utilize the analogy of pretending we live in the stone age to get points such as these across with humor and candor. 

Say you go to work your shift, and your manager indicates that perhaps they forgot to mention this to you, uh..but you are such a strong nurse that you are a new graduate's preceptor for the next 6 weeks.  You are wearing a uni-shouldered Betty Rubble frock, and are armed with a club.  You have a bone in your hair.  You are introduced to Penelope Perky, R.N.  Good grief, even her club is new and fancy. (Go figure, yours has been used a lot more).  A Littman drapes around her delicate swan-like neck, worn much like the Queen having just been coronated.  Her clogs, a pair of shiny white virgins never knowing the warm pleasures of vomit, MRSA, liquid stool and urine.  Her new name tag doesn't even have one lousy drop of blood on it, yet.  Penelope is eager, full of fresh ideas, channeling her inner Florence Nightingale, ready to change the world.   HA! What does she know!  Your eyes narrow into slits, your pupils are pinpoint.  You raise your club in the middle of morning report, ready to pounce on the threat to all that Is.  

Hold it right there.  Here is the time to evaluate.  Because you are a cave-person, you only speak in grunts, only experience feelings viscerally.  If you were to only have one word available to you to describe your reaction, what would it be?  What color is it?  'Where' do you feel it?

Why is it that you feel the need to strike?  You are evolved, intelligent and insightful.  Go beyond the primal instinct to devour.  What the heck is the problem here?

That evening when you are in Wilma's kitchen ready to make a pot of pterodactyl soup, boil this down also:

From my loving heart space to yours, I share this with you, clubs down.  Fear is the basis of all outward emotion.  Yes, Ms. Thang, Ms. I-can-catheterize-a-nun-in-the-dark, Ms. Go-to for all of your unit's tough blood draws, Ms. I am on first name basis with every physician who has practicing privileges within 500 miles.   You are fearful.  But, of what, and why?

Consider --

1. 
   
   Fear of change
2. 
   
   Fear of actualizing skill sets which you need work on
3. 
   
   Fear of being perceived as something less than you would like to be perceived as
4. 
   
   Fear of a shift in the hierarchy of your unit
5. 
   
   Fear of having to address issues about why you respond to things in the manner which you do
6. 
   
   Fear of growth
7. 
   
   Fear of other's acceptance of and the embracing of new staff
8. 
   
   Fear of not being able to feel safe
9. 
   
   Fear of the unexpected

Be secure in who you are.  Do self love and boundary work.  Elevate your consciousness for the sake of embracing the goodness of all.  Eliminate feelings of threat.  Forgive past circumstances for causing you pain and heart ache.  Love yourself enough to accomplish these things.  You are worthy of the care which you provide to others.  Be kind to new nurses. (They may have to give you an enema some day).  Above all, always remember to Nurse Your Spirit!

Do You Drink the Karmic Kool-Aid ?

How would you feel if I told you that before you were born, you chose your life time and you chose your circumstances (with all of it's consequences) in order to provide you with life lessons, all for the sake of preparing you to be a healer and giver?  How about if it were suggested to you that you have been divinely led to where you are because you are energetically capable to be the provider of comfort and healing to humanity during a New World Order?  What about the concept of you having agreed to accept the responsibility of a healer's life?  How's this:  Did you choose your parents and your upbringing in order to provide you with the nuances necessary to fulfill your Karmic agreement? 

Some of you may stop reading this right now.  That's alright.  Obviously, if you do not believe in the concepts of Karma or reincarnation as a result of traditional religious belief, or it simply does not make sense to you logically, this blog post may offend you.  If this is the case, please accept my apologies.  Make no mistake, though.  I only apologize for possibly offending you.  I do not apologize for my beliefs.  The reason?  I believe that all paths are valid and lead to the same truth.  Your beliefs are just as valid as mine.  My beliefs are just as valid as yours.  We simply arrive at Truth in different ways.

Why is this an important subject to raise?  Because one of my life's lessons in order to fulfill my soul's agreement is to teach tolerance and respect, the importance of self love and healthy boundaries to other healers.  How do I know that this is one of my life's lessons?  Because of being on the receiving end of much manipulation and dysfunctional toxicity during my upbringing.  Intuitively I know that I chose these rotton circumstances, and sure enough, they appeared.  And for them, I am grateful.  I was faced with a future of energtically giving to others what I was receiving- judgement, blurred boundaries and misery.  Free choice and free will met me eye to eye, and I chose the high road.  I love being who I am.  It is because of the life lessons I chose to take on that I am the healer I am today. 

I ask you to take a reflective look at the circumstances which have arisen in your life.  Take a look inward.  What led you to healing?  Did you bounce back from a neglectful child hood?  Do you have abandonment issues?  Is your ego stroked when you give care to others?  Do you give from your ego, or from your soul, which only knows compassion?

Just ponder.  Remember you are worthy yourself of the care and nurture which you provide to others, and always Nurse Your Spirit!

Nurses! Interview Your Interviewer

Warning:  Please be advised that while the tone of this particular blog post  is a bit biting and sarcastic, (I had a little fun poking and painting a picture of a manager I think we have all at least once encountered), professionalism, warmth, respect and open communication are keys to a successful relationship with your manager.  Off we go.

Well, congratulations!  You made it through your first interview with the clicky - heeled - human - resources specialist.  Now, you are about to be escorted (or not ) to visit the unit to which you have applied.  On top of this fireball of excitement, you will be interviewed by your prospective unit manager.  Isn't that fantastic. A job!  You are perhaps nervous, and rightfully so.  You actively sought this position, cleaned up your resume, cleared your mind and prepared your responses so that anyone who wouldn't hire you could be easily considered a blockhead.  This individual is a blockhead if they don't expect you to be sizing them up as well. 

You know the saying that is really appropriate for a health care workplace setting, "Crap trickles downhill"?  It does, and we all know it, no matter where on the hill your vantage point may be.  By nature in any corporate hierarchical environment, this just is what is is.  What I am getting at is this:  If your to-be manager lacks what you feel to be a sense of boundaries, is wishy-washy, gets easily caught up in manipulation or becomes all giggly and excited about silly things, then, beware, oh, yes indeed, beware.

These behaviors are indicative of a dreadfully weak leader who needs your energy in order to survive and feel liked..  In this case, this manager's modus operandi (which they are usually unaware of)  is to obtain their sense of self esteem extrinsically, through you, when it should be to set an example through strength.  You as a staff level employee will end up catching all the flies, get knotted up in their dysfunction, become marinated in muddy toxicity and be forced to partake  the "he said she said game" of professional codependent hopscotch.  Your position is difficult and challenging under the best of circumstances, let alone having to function in an unhealthy health care work environment by being responsible for your manager's feelings.  Seriously, beware.  The unit manager sets the tone for the unit. The unit manager is not only responsible to manage and oversee the daily operations of the unit  but in a very real sense, manages the flow and the energy of the work environment as well.

I think back to an interview for a nursing position that I had during my active nursing career.  One of the questions posed to me was, "what are your expectations of me as your unit manager"?  I thought, that is a good question.  My response was, for you to be a strong leader, to be supportive of your staff.  The look on her face was one of, "this chick must be crazy".   I was offered the position however,  and in observing her role as my unit manager over the proceeding three years, it was clear that the word "supportive" is what choked her, as she didn't know how I defined it.  I felt the word "supportive"  spoke for itself.  She perceived  that I felt that for her to be supportive meant a free ticket for me not to be accountable.  Wow, Oh Brother, and other expletives.  This was a valuable lesson. 

In addition to the obvious discussions which are part of the interview process, such as staff/patient ratios, unit policies, etc., here are some diagnostic concepts and questions which you can use in order to identify potential red flags in the psyche of your prospective manager. Tap into your instinctual stethoscope and never, ever discount your intuition, as this is why you have been attracted to the healing arts. Your intuition is impeccable.  You hear me?  Alright, onward.

1. Request that the manager take you on a tour of the unit, if it is not offered to you.
2. Observe the interactions (verbal and non-verbal) between the manager, staff, patients and family members.
3. Ask your interviewer who their manager is and what this individual's interactions are with the unit.
4. Beware of compliments.  Statements such as, "I really like you already"  only indicates the individual's desire for you to "like" them already.
5. Ask what they feel makes them an effective manager.
6. Professionally communicate what your expectations are in a manager.
7. If the manager does not do this, incorporate the word "supportive" into the conversation.  Make sure you define what this word means to you.  Professionally inquire what it means to them.
8. Ask about staff turn over rates.
9. Know your innate sense of self worth and above all;
10. Walk confidently on your healing path, and always Nurse Your Spirit.

Dealing with Bullies in the Healthcare Workplace

I know that you know that they know that I know that you know that if you work in a professional healthcare environment of any type, be it a hospital, clinic, insurance company, long term care facility or even on a cruise ship, you have encountered "The Bully".  You know just who I am referring to, don't you?  The bitchy manipulator who always seems to get their way and will "sick their clique" on ya, just for the sake of their entertainment.  Actually, it's no so much entertainment than it is the Bully's need to feel better about themselves.  Poor Bully.  Poor sense of self worth and self esteem, Bully. 

Bullying behavior is actually a dysfunctional coping mechanisim that an individual incorporates into their reality as a method of protection from harm.  These individuals are always right and clearly have more experience and knowledge than anyone who is fortunate to be in their company.  Or, so they like to project.  However the truth is on some level that these folks have been shamed, victimized or traumatized in their early life, and they will be damned if you or anyone will be considered better than them, in any way. 

While this indeed is an unfortunate circumstance for them, you as their co-worker do not need to tolerate their lack of desire to address their pathologic issues.  As adults, we have a responsiblity in the workplace to function as professionals.  We also have the right to protect ourselves from another's unhealthy behaviors by embracing boundaries.  Yeah, that's what creates these monsters.  So, the next obvious question is, what steps can you take in order to minimize the bully's impact on your work day?

1. Visualize them hanging upside down by their toenails, screaming for mercy.  Stop.  That's mean.
2. Test the waters:  When you are being spoken to by a bullying individual, try to tap into what they are not able to say. 
3. Imagine as though the interaction is taking place at the Flintstone residence.  If you only had clubs and communicated with grunts, what primal emotions would surface?  You will realize that Bullys live in fear.
4. When a Bully or one of their indoctrinated posse attempts communication with you and the tone is that of  humiliation, never respond with venom.  React with cool professionalism.   Your reaction will set the tone for an increasingly healthy work relationship, as by not lashing back, you are employing healthy boundaries.  This will automatically and energetically shift the tone of your relationship.
5. Confrontation only serves to spit gasoline on the Bully's firey behavior. 
6. Remain true to yourself.  Remember that you deserve a safe and healthy workplace environment.  Your outward tone will dictate to others that you expect a respectful and professional experience.