Do You Drink the Karmic Kool-Aid ?

How would you feel if I told you that before you were born, you chose your life time and you chose your circumstances (with all of it's consequences) in order to provide you with life lessons, all for the sake of preparing you to be a healer and giver?  How about if it were suggested to you that you have been divinely led to where you are because you are energetically capable to be the provider of comfort and healing to humanity during a New World Order?  What about the concept of you having agreed to accept the responsibility of a healer's life?  How's this:  Did you choose your parents and your upbringing in order to provide you with the nuances necessary to fulfill your Karmic agreement? 

Some of you may stop reading this right now.  That's alright.  Obviously, if you do not believe in the concepts of Karma or reincarnation as a result of traditional religious belief, or it simply does not make sense to you logically, this blog post may offend you.  If this is the case, please accept my apologies.  Make no mistake, though.  I only apologize for possibly offending you.  I do not apologize for my beliefs.  The reason?  I believe that all paths are valid and lead to the same truth.  Your beliefs are just as valid as mine.  My beliefs are just as valid as yours.  We simply arrive at Truth in different ways.

Why is this an important subject to raise?  Because one of my life's lessons in order to fulfill my soul's agreement is to teach tolerance and respect, the importance of self love and healthy boundaries to other healers.  How do I know that this is one of my life's lessons?  Because of being on the receiving end of much manipulation and dysfunctional toxicity during my upbringing.  Intuitively I know that I chose these rotton circumstances, and sure enough, they appeared.  And for them, I am grateful.  I was faced with a future of energtically giving to others what I was receiving- judgement, blurred boundaries and misery.  Free choice and free will met me eye to eye, and I chose the high road.  I love being who I am.  It is because of the life lessons I chose to take on that I am the healer I am today. 

I ask you to take a reflective look at the circumstances which have arisen in your life.  Take a look inward.  What led you to healing?  Did you bounce back from a neglectful child hood?  Do you have abandonment issues?  Is your ego stroked when you give care to others?  Do you give from your ego, or from your soul, which only knows compassion?

Just ponder.  Remember you are worthy yourself of the care and nurture which you provide to others, and always Nurse Your Spirit!

Nurses! Interview Your Interviewer

Warning:  Please be advised that while the tone of this particular blog post  is a bit biting and sarcastic, (I had a little fun poking and painting a picture of a manager I think we have all at least once encountered), professionalism, warmth, respect and open communication are keys to a successful relationship with your manager.  Off we go.

Well, congratulations!  You made it through your first interview with the clicky - heeled - human - resources specialist.  Now, you are about to be escorted (or not ) to visit the unit to which you have applied.  On top of this fireball of excitement, you will be interviewed by your prospective unit manager.  Isn't that fantastic. A job!  You are perhaps nervous, and rightfully so.  You actively sought this position, cleaned up your resume, cleared your mind and prepared your responses so that anyone who wouldn't hire you could be easily considered a blockhead.  This individual is a blockhead if they don't expect you to be sizing them up as well. 

You know the saying that is really appropriate for a health care workplace setting, "Crap trickles downhill"?  It does, and we all know it, no matter where on the hill your vantage point may be.  By nature in any corporate hierarchical environment, this just is what is is.  What I am getting at is this:  If your to-be manager lacks what you feel to be a sense of boundaries, is wishy-washy, gets easily caught up in manipulation or becomes all giggly and excited about silly things, then, beware, oh, yes indeed, beware.

These behaviors are indicative of a dreadfully weak leader who needs your energy in order to survive and feel liked..  In this case, this manager's modus operandi (which they are usually unaware of)  is to obtain their sense of self esteem extrinsically, through you, when it should be to set an example through strength.  You as a staff level employee will end up catching all the flies, get knotted up in their dysfunction, become marinated in muddy toxicity and be forced to partake  the "he said she said game" of professional codependent hopscotch.  Your position is difficult and challenging under the best of circumstances, let alone having to function in an unhealthy health care work environment by being responsible for your manager's feelings.  Seriously, beware.  The unit manager sets the tone for the unit. The unit manager is not only responsible to manage and oversee the daily operations of the unit  but in a very real sense, manages the flow and the energy of the work environment as well.

I think back to an interview for a nursing position that I had during my active nursing career.  One of the questions posed to me was, "what are your expectations of me as your unit manager"?  I thought, that is a good question.  My response was, for you to be a strong leader, to be supportive of your staff.  The look on her face was one of, "this chick must be crazy".   I was offered the position however,  and in observing her role as my unit manager over the proceeding three years, it was clear that the word "supportive" is what choked her, as she didn't know how I defined it.  I felt the word "supportive"  spoke for itself.  She perceived  that I felt that for her to be supportive meant a free ticket for me not to be accountable.  Wow, Oh Brother, and other expletives.  This was a valuable lesson. 

In addition to the obvious discussions which are part of the interview process, such as staff/patient ratios, unit policies, etc., here are some diagnostic concepts and questions which you can use in order to identify potential red flags in the psyche of your prospective manager. Tap into your instinctual stethoscope and never, ever discount your intuition, as this is why you have been attracted to the healing arts. Your intuition is impeccable.  You hear me?  Alright, onward.

1. Request that the manager take you on a tour of the unit, if it is not offered to you.
2. Observe the interactions (verbal and non-verbal) between the manager, staff, patients and family members.
3. Ask your interviewer who their manager is and what this individual's interactions are with the unit.
4. Beware of compliments.  Statements such as, "I really like you already"  only indicates the individual's desire for you to "like" them already.
5. Ask what they feel makes them an effective manager.
6. Professionally communicate what your expectations are in a manager.
7. If the manager does not do this, incorporate the word "supportive" into the conversation.  Make sure you define what this word means to you.  Professionally inquire what it means to them.
8. Ask about staff turn over rates.
9. Know your innate sense of self worth and above all;
10. Walk confidently on your healing path, and always Nurse Your Spirit.

Dealing with Bullies in the Healthcare Workplace

I know that you know that they know that I know that you know that if you work in a professional healthcare environment of any type, be it a hospital, clinic, insurance company, long term care facility or even on a cruise ship, you have encountered "The Bully".  You know just who I am referring to, don't you?  The bitchy manipulator who always seems to get their way and will "sick their clique" on ya, just for the sake of their entertainment.  Actually, it's no so much entertainment than it is the Bully's need to feel better about themselves.  Poor Bully.  Poor sense of self worth and self esteem, Bully. 

Bullying behavior is actually a dysfunctional coping mechanisim that an individual incorporates into their reality as a method of protection from harm.  These individuals are always right and clearly have more experience and knowledge than anyone who is fortunate to be in their company.  Or, so they like to project.  However the truth is on some level that these folks have been shamed, victimized or traumatized in their early life, and they will be damned if you or anyone will be considered better than them, in any way. 

While this indeed is an unfortunate circumstance for them, you as their co-worker do not need to tolerate their lack of desire to address their pathologic issues.  As adults, we have a responsiblity in the workplace to function as professionals.  We also have the right to protect ourselves from another's unhealthy behaviors by embracing boundaries.  Yeah, that's what creates these monsters.  So, the next obvious question is, what steps can you take in order to minimize the bully's impact on your work day?

1. Visualize them hanging upside down by their toenails, screaming for mercy.  Stop.  That's mean.
2. Test the waters:  When you are being spoken to by a bullying individual, try to tap into what they are not able to say. 
3. Imagine as though the interaction is taking place at the Flintstone residence.  If you only had clubs and communicated with grunts, what primal emotions would surface?  You will realize that Bullys live in fear.
4. When a Bully or one of their indoctrinated posse attempts communication with you and the tone is that of  humiliation, never respond with venom.  React with cool professionalism.   Your reaction will set the tone for an increasingly healthy work relationship, as by not lashing back, you are employing healthy boundaries.  This will automatically and energetically shift the tone of your relationship.
5. Confrontation only serves to spit gasoline on the Bully's firey behavior. 
6. Remain true to yourself.  Remember that you deserve a safe and healthy workplace environment.  Your outward tone will dictate to others that you expect a respectful and professional experience.

Self Love and Boundaries for Healers and Givers

When you provide care and nurture to others, from which aspect of your self does this act stem?  Do you give out of pure compassion, remaining unattached to the results?  Conversely, do you give with the expectation of recognition, award or acknowledgement?   Truthfully speaking, we all identify with the authentic shades of both ends of this dynamic spectrum.  Having both the Ego and our Spirit Selves housed in our existence occasionally results in a struggle. The Ego Self creates an attachment to the results of our giving and can set us up for a dangerous and unnecessary cycle of toxicity, born from the seed of codependency.  That's what I said.  Codependency.  That dreadful word associated with horrible negativity.  Enter now, the Spirit Self, which energetically only knows pure compassion, sending the message from your heart space that to give to others is sacred and beautiful.   

Whether you are a traditional healer, such as a nurse, a non- traditional healer such as a light worker, or the "go-to" person in your family or circle of friends, it is inherently difficult to remain unattached to the results of the care you provide when this act becomes an expectation.  For the giver who has self worth issues and corresponding difficulty with setting limits, which most givers and healers do, it is often more simple to continue giving than to address the issue.  Resentment, Burn Out and Compassion Fatigue undoubtedly ensue.

For example, the nurse who is innately and energetically driven to heal from the compassionate Spirit Self ends up being forced to the attachment of their giving.  Unit protocols, facility bottom lines and increasing responsibilities wound the individuals compassion because the Ego Self is sending up an ugly flag.  A light worker who does not practice regular grounding and balancing self work can find themselves in crisis as well, by blurring the boundaries between themselves and the energies of their clients.  The individual who is the shoulder for their loved one's burdens can find themselves feeling stuck and filled with anger, which can alter these important interpersonal relationships.

The good news is that also housed in your existence, wedged right between the Ego and Spirit Selves, is your authentic key to the door of joyous balance.  On this door reads:  "When I Intend to Love Myself, I Have Healthy Boundaries".


Love for Self energetically creates a renewed sense of healthy and appropriate social and personal boundaries.  You love your Self enough to not invite other's dysfunctions into your space.  You begin utilizing phrases such as, "I will do anything I can for you", instead of "I will do anything for you".  

Self Love work is a life-long process.  For those of us whom gain our self esteem and self worth extrinsically, you won't achieve the state of Self Love overnight, and what a cool blessing that is!  The practice is fun, rewarding, sacred and meaningful.  It shouldn't be over with in a day.  It's chocolate.  It's a hot bath on a cold night. 

It can be frightening to begin this process.  We intuitively know that when we shift our perspectives, so does our behavior.  This can leave our loved ones baffled, and at times can actually affect the longevity of a relationship.  Ponder this News Flash:  A healthy relationship can withstand the shift of growth in one of the parties.  A Toxic relationship usually cannot.  Ask yourself which type of relationship you value, and which you would be better off kissing goodbye.

In terms of traditional healers and givers such as nurses, I'd be giving you horrible advice if I told you that it was acceptable to tell your unit manager or your patient, "Sorry, I cannot do this for you now, I am engaging in Self Love work".  Imagine the reaction!  Ahahaa!  For you, my dear kindreds, I offer these nuggets:

1. Always remember that you are in a lifelong process of Self Love work.
2. Find comfort in this during all of your interactions.
3. When you encounter manipulation, acknowledge and process this internally.  Your statements and actions will begin to shift energetically, while you remain polite and professional within your work environment.  Counteracting with manipulation creates a bitter downward spiral.  Being a practitioner of Self Love work will enable you to respond with your sense of healthy boundaries.
4. When your reactions to others shift, their counter reactions will energetically become more appropriate.
5. You cannot choose who you work with.  You can choose how you will allow their behaviors to affect you.

Be Well, Be Balance, Be Joy.

You Love You!