Coffee Table Discussion: An Engineer's Take on the "Inevitability of Burnout"

My husband comes from a family of engineers. If you have been reading my work, you know that from my standpoint, there are energetic tugs that work alongside natural aptitudes which cause one to be led to a particular profession, the deepest essence of this concept being karmic. My husband is an engineer. Far be it from me to categorize personality traits within particular careers (hardy har har), but my darling spouse is very linear and methodical in his thinking.

He explains concepts and ideas in the form of plots, graphs and diagrams in the air, with his hands. Poor guy can’t help it, he is who he is. Every single cell in his beautiful existence is literally marinated in this approach to all things. He deeply resonates with the concepts of fact, scientific models and proof derived from controlled experiments. This being said, he is somewhat of an enigma, as indicated by his interest in spiritual and metaphysical realms. He is also very interested in the cohesiveness between spirituality, metaphysics and science. What is interesting to me is how he approaches his studies and research of such immeasureable concepts in a highly organized and scientifically derived manner. The hubster learns by reading and gathering information from various sources that he deems reliable and capable. He then takes this information, and surmises a conclusion.  He embarks on a search, if you will, of externally derived knowledge.

So, this morning we were discussing my last blog post. Here is the link.  Being ever the true gentle man, he said something like, “great blog hon, I’m just intrigued. Why did you imply that all nurses get burnout? Don’t you think there are any nurses who are happy? The ones who go about their day, enjoy their job, their lives”?

(Even though the blog was focused on the importance of understanding that there is no distinction between anyone who heals, only the method with which they resonate to heal others differs, for the sake of simplicity, I will continue to use the word “nurse”, as we did in our conversation)

We discussed my take on the wording of this piece, and the conversation got colorful when I suggested that this blog was written authentically and derived from my innate state of knowing, and I told him that nurses may think they are happy, and not think they are experiencing burnout on a conscious or subconscious level.  Yet, they would probably be in the throes of a dysfunctional mind set to some degree, and/or that any toxicity they may be experiencing at a particular point is serving them a purpose. This is actually a clever avoidance tactic.  By avoiding addressing the bad stuff, they don’t have to address personal points for growth, and they can continue to blame their coworkers and the system for stuff. (Some folks find weird strength in bitch sessions, an illusion of power and strength in numbers- a misery-loves-company-bizarre-clique sort of thing).

I believe that healers are attracted to healing in order to eventually heal themselves. I even believe that we choose our lifetimes and our lessons. Here is what I mean.  Please keep in mind that this is a very nut-shelled version:

1: Agree to lifetime, learning and opportunities to achieve goal (which on a human level you are not aware of).  This is Divine Knowledge.


2: Realize an energetic pull or attraction to healing others.


3: Burnout/Crisis occurs.


4: Self Healing and energetic contagiousness occurs by addressing Burnout.  (Amazing experiences while reaping the rewards of your hard work)


5: You Flourish, feel sense of balance, poise and self worth.


6:  If this lifetime lesson agreement is unaddressed/unresolved-go back to #1.



So anyway, when we boiled it and boiled it, I realized that his concern was that I would be alienating a certain demographic. My practice is less than a year old, and that’s certainly counterproductive. Not only that, but I am really a very nice person, am sensitive and really dislike hurting or angering anyone, this he knows very well.

But here’s the thing. I rely on internally derived knowledge.  The older I get, the more intense the trust is.  I trust this as my darling trusts his research.  I am not a studier, per se. I don’t learn well that way. Reading, even though I love writing, is laborious and tedious to me. While I am quite nicely educated, the process was never truly smooth or easy. I relied on the help of friends and my good ole’ instinct. There are no hard and cold facts about this whole nurse burnout/ healer burnout discussion. One can assume, based on being in the profession for a while, reading statistics and the like, that there is a good scientific probability that many nurses are. Yet, as a metaphysician, I am an intuitive “knower”. My intuition is my guide, and intuition is direct Divine knowledge in my book. Divine Knowledge is never wrong, it simply is.


I know it in my core center that inevitably, healers of any description have levels of burnout. Whether they choose to address it or not is a different story.

These truths of mine are certainly not crafted to be suggestive, therefore the intention is not for you to choose to feel as though I am pigeon holing you by giving you no gray areas to work with. These truths are written from this perspective: if you resonate with this information, you do. If you don’t, you probably really seriously and absolutely do not. Yet the hope is that if you fall into the latter category, you will allow this concept to unfold in your heart when it beckons you to do so.

After this valued discussion with my best friend, my ideals and concepts, my “knowing” was not threatened, it was validated and strengthened. A blog written yesterday on the lack of distinction between any sort of healer, and the rationales as to why people serendipitously are attracted to healing others morphed into an enlightening opportunity. 

Is one method necessarily right or wrong in obtaining information and developing personal realities better or worse than the other?  Hardly, for there are many paths to One Truth. 

How Divine.

Thanks, honey.


Nurse Your Spirit!

This Just In: Nurse Burnout Shares Space With Other Healers

Image from alexgrey.com

 When you hear the word “healer”, what impressions are awakened and who do you think of? Most of us would naturally have an image of a well seasoned physician, a nurse in the trenches of a 12 hour shift or on the other spectrum, a Tibetan Lama or a Native American Medicine Man. Perhaps a wizard with a wand? Alakazam! How about an evangelist slamming his palm into a desperate disciple’s forehead, proclaiming that they will walk again? Then there is the lady with the crystal ball, the massage therapist, the Reiki practitioner, and the Buddha. What does the word healer mean? What does it mean to heal others? By pondering these questions, we healer folk will realize that there is no distinction between any of us. We are all on the same frequency, and the only issues that differ are the methods with which we are most intrinsically aligned. Therefore I digress, is there really “another spectrum” at all?

So let’s start peeling back this rose bud. Onions are okay also, but roses smell better. Use whatever visual geometry or olfactory sensibility which causes your heart to best connect with the concept. The act of healing is to have the desire to cure and or restore an individual to a state of health, ‘desire’ being the operative term. What is desire? Desire is not only the concrete ‘wanting’ of something, but it derives from a source which magnetically echoes and mirrors our authentic selves. Therefore, the act of healing or being a healer is a core truth, a trait, an archetype so to speak. It cannot be helped. This is a state of being which simply is, and as I previously mentioned, how one implements this self truth is the only distinction. The healer simply goes about their lives and purely energetically stumbles upon opportunities to cure and restore others to a state of health, by way of the law of attraction.


What is health? Very basically it is a state of balance and homeostasis; it is a condition where all the aspects of one’s selves are functioning beautifully and perfectly, because of the total sum of one self’s parts. This concept incorporates the multi faceted qualities of an individual, as well.


So a healer is an individual who has the desire through a mirror image of their authentic selves to restore others to a state of balance, personal cohesion and perfection. Does this broadened definition expand your perspective as to who a healer might be? It does for me. Suddenly, family caregivers, pastors, the go-to person in a family setting, a parent, a teacher, a public service worker and a best friend come to mind.


For optimal health and homeostasis to be realized, there are multiple groups of systems which require balance, for example, the physical systems, such as respiratory, cardiovascular and circulatory, muscular- skeletal, genito-urinary, etc. One with an interest and aptitude for human physiology with a healing core truth/ trait/archetype will most possibly find themselves becoming attracted to such careers as nursing, becoming a physician, or other professional clinical health related field.


Another group of human characteristics that make up a system which when functioning optimally results in a deep experience of wellness is the mind/body/spirit relationship. When there is an appreciation and acknowledgement of these states of interconnected attributes, there is a sense of balance, well being and this goes along with having a sense of connectedness to all living things, all of nature. The individual with a healing core truth/trait/archetype and an innate magnetic resonance to the subtle connections between the mind body and spirit may find themselves working as a holistic healer, counselor, an energy healer, or a spiritual nutritionist, for example.


A pastor identifies with healing humanity on a spiritual level; a mother, father grandparent or close relative intuitively is aware how to keep their children whole and is so deeply connected to them that they would rather suffer their pain for them, and so on.




By now, you are able to understand how an aptitude in addition to a core truth/trait/archetype will manifest into a particular method of healing, whether it is traditional, non-traditional, intentional or serendipitous in scope and nature.


What causes one to experience burnout if they are simply existing as their authentic selves and doing so many good things for so many people? Because of the healer’s natural propensity to do for and serve others, a possible subliminal expectation from the receiver of the healing can occur, creating a toxic feeling of resentment from the standpoint of the healer. A spiritual healer can experience burn out when they become energetically attached to the results of their client’s circumstances or lose faith in their work when the end result is not favorable, and spiritual healers are especially sensitive to others energies. A traditional healing professional, such as a nurse, physician or other skilled healthcare worker who enters their profession with a passionate heart may quickly feel the toxic effects of burnout, for corporate and top heavy conglomerate companies can represent the very antithesis of compassion. Very compassionate nurses and other traditional practitioners also tend to be very sensitive to surrounding energies. The healing professional is forced to be attached to the results of their care which comes at them from a point of accountability. This, albeit important, is the crux of the issue. To give compassionate care means to be unattached to the results. This equates the necessity for healthy boundaries and a good solid poised center. (What a circuitous yet marvelously designed roundabout way to develop these important truths).


As a nurse, a metaphysician, a holistic healer and the founder of a counseling practice I feel as though burnout is not preventable. I feel it is inevitable, and when it is recognized and embraced, it will be seen as what it represents: a pre destined gift, an opportunity for growth and a chance to develop inner peace and heightened sense of knowing.


To imply that burnout is preventable is to in a way invalidate one’s core truth, or archetype, and to deny the very human aspect of the healer. Every step that is made on our path is on behalf of our predetermined set of life lessons, blessings, riches and experiences. While externally derived comforts such as aromatherapy, (retail therapy) and fun nights out offer a temporary ease and escape from the symptoms, there are methods which are create a constant internal flow of love, peace and poise. But that’s the next publication.


In the meantime, Nurse Your Spirit!

The Two and a Half Year Old Healer

Last evening, I was enjoying a moment of solitude on my sofa in the living room. My feet were kicked up on a pillow and I was in the throes of a crossword puzzle, my new and really enjoyable hobby, when my 2 1/2 year old granddaughter who was visiting hopped up into my lap. I watched her gaze at my feet intently and was waiting for her to comment on the nail polish on my toes. She looked at the outside of my left ankle and tenderly stated, “Bamma need a ban-aid”! Before I had a chance to ask for an explanation, she skipped over to the infamous kitchen junk drawer, pulled out a Dora the Explorer brand bandage from the box, grabbed a diaper wipe from her little Minnie Mouse back pack and got to work.


She wiped my ankle clean and left it with the smell of aloe and love. Her little fingers peeled the wrapping off of the bandage and with surgical precision, placed it onto my skin. After she got up to toss the wrapper into the trash, she joyfully re-approached me, and covered my ankle with little kisses, proclaiming that I was now “all bettah”.

Are we born to be healers and providers of caring and love to others, or is this a process which is learned and environmental in concept? We are a big, loving, close and passionate family. We care about and for each other very carefully, and I suppose that little Tinkerbella was simply emulating the care which we readily provide her in the event of incurring an owie. I wonder if it is this emulation which resonates with her very soul. Not all children are as ready to give of themselves to others. This tiny lady of ours pats our pillows to tell us it is time to go to sleep, covers our feet with blankets and takes very special care of her “babies” (dolls). She is quite insightful, we notice, and especially sensitive and empathetic when she senses something has or is going awry, often times before we even realize that something is happening.

While we foster this trait in her, we also don’t want her to feel as though it is expected of her, for it is our charge as her grandparents to care for and nurture her. Her father, our son feels the same. This being said, her caring and healing for others is as much a part of her as her love of going to play at Chuck E Cheese, her new scooter, Brussels sprouts (yes-she loves them), and…Dora.

After she went home with her Daddy last night, I got ready for bed and took a look at my ankle. I removed the bandage, and although there was no pain, scratch or obvious need for it, the ankle was actually swollen. I replaced the bandage as a symbol of the message that she brings to our hearts, and that is that we are who we are, no matter what we are exposed to. We are our authentic selves, and we are just who, and how we are supposed to be, for the highest good of all.

http://www.nurseyourspirit.com/