Nurse Campy Fancy Pants

Alright.  I get it.  I know.  Of course there are male nurses (Hi Dave!!), but this post makes total fun of female nurses who think they look really cool in scrubs.  Oh come on!  You know it as well as I do.  I sometimes think that the reason "they" became nurses, other than a karmic fulfillment or the need to be needed, for example, is that they actually like the way they look and feel in their scrubs.  Campy, foot loose and freaking fancy free in their well worn cotton. 

Ohh if only that fabric could talk, it could tell a gazillion stories about what has been splattered/sprayed/spilled/leaked/expelled/projected/ejected/squirted/spouted and spurted onto and into the very micro fibers of...those scrubs, into the cellular memory of this holy garment. Seriously, these are more than just duds one wears to work.

 

Behold the reverence.  

These leg coverings that reach to one's ankles with draw string waists are a living and walking testimony to the experiences of their hard core seasoned wearer.  They tell an incredible story, with the right attitude and accessories, of course. (More on this later).

I call these chicks Nurse Campy Fancy Pants. For now, I will refer to them as NCFP's.

Usually, in higher acuity settings such as NICU, ICU. CCU, OR, ER, Etc., the scrubs are less pretty, if you ask me.  That's how I have perceived it for the last couple of decades, anyway.  No flowers, hardly a Looney Toons Cartoon scrub to be found.  Betty Boop?  Fuggetaboutit. We are talking industrial quality- distressed - militant street-wear, the road warrior's identifier clothing.  Nothing cute about it.  This is serious, and everyone in the NCFP's vicinity will perceive it as such. 

You have your hard core cobalt blue that fades into a soft sky color, and the bright green that over a few hundred launderings  have literally "stood" witness to life, death and beyond, which then morphs into the standard tile color of the bathroom in a 1945 sanitarium. 

Not to mention the texture..WOW!  Soft..molded to the body, worn.  I'm talking practically see- through in all the "high friction areas".

Seriously, we all know what it's like to wear a new crisp pair of scrub pants.  I am sure any "normal sized" woman has experienced chafing, especially if the pants were not washed before wearing.  (Coincidentally, there is a DSM-IV code for this condition which is referred to as PDWUWSS - Premature Desire to Wear Un-Washed Scrubs Syndrome). 

Anyway, one day, NCFP wakes up, throws her hair in a bun and slips on her favorite bottoms.  Slips.  She develops a bounce in her hard core nurse campy fancy pants (NCFP) step, completes her hygeine and grooming regime, climbs in the car, and proceeds to her shift.  In terms of accessorizing, in her ears are a pair of twinkly sparkly silver dingle dangle earrings which she enjoys as a part of her whole look.  Ohhhhh!!!  She cannot wait til later.  The shoes, the revered clogs are worn.  They perfectly caress her pounding and striding tootsies like a glove and add a bit of personality to her step, as they slightly "clog" on the floor.  Did you know that?  High heels make a clicky sound, and clogs make a cloggy sound.  Get it straight.

Suddenly, it happens.  Her hair, while the majority of it remains loosely in the bun atop her pretty little fancy campy dome, begins to softly whisp from the top and the sides, a clear indication, a medal of valor, really, which sigh..gives ultimate permission to have the 'tude.  Later hath arrived.

The slipping on of the pants clearly is the reward of many intense shifts and act as the indication that, well, they are finally as well worn as she is.  The dingle dangle sparkles at the ends of her delicate lobes are the perfect juxtaposition, the perfect comparison, the perfect compliment to the whisp situation while the campy fancy pants are soft, so soft, so used, so experienced, and perfectly cover the planks that are supported by the clogging of the clog.  Herein lies, her story.  The story which is titled, "I am a Nurse.  A Nurse Campy Fancy Pants", Nurse.  Even this nurse should  Nurse Their Spirit!

Counseling for the Broken Nurse: What a Concept

Nurses are the givers and fixers, the healers and nurturers, the "go to" people.  We are the stronghold of traditional healthcare in our society.  We are the implementers of orders, the stop gap, the patient advocate.

We are the glue that keeps our shift together.  We are the care plan developers, the care coordinators, the documentors.  We are the IV starters, the medication administrators, the assessors.  We are code runners, the presence which soothes, the toe-taggers.  We are the clean up crew, the punching bag, the center of the patient's experience.  We are the bearers of bad news, the clergy, the teacher, the psychologist.  We are the ambulators, the lower extremity elevators, and safety monitors.

We are punched, hit, spat upon and subject ourselves to increasingly toxic body fluids and surroundings.  We do all this and more in a shift, and then go back for more.  We are accountable to our facility, their bottom lines, our patients. 

We become jaded.

We experience difficulty with communication, harrassment and feel underappreciated for what we do.  We encounter increasingly alarming amounts of responsibility to satisfy payor sources.  Sometimes, we don't sit down for 13 hours.  Hardly ever do we eat lunch.

We are so tired.

Our co - workers are strong and weak, experienced and green behind their ears, bitchy and soft, everyone experiencing their own phase in their career, everyone giving off and absorbing the energies of others.

We burn out.

We begin to respond to others and to circumstances through a veil of self protection.  We cry on the way to work, we cry during our shift, we cry on the way home.  We feel completely misunderstood.  We question why we "did this" to begin with, encourage nursing students to quit while they are ahead and experience panic and dread.

We are broken.

What access do you have in your facility to address nurse burnout?  Have you ever contacted your Employee Assistance Program (EAP) who then referred you to someone who half heartedly commiserated with the difficult profession that nursing is, and then they informed you to "learn how to relax"? 

Why, for the sake of all that is mighty and good would you place a 2x2 on the gaping wounds of your soul? 

Once identified, nurse burnout is entirely treatable.  Not only is nurse burnout treatable, but during your healing process, you will be able to cycle back to your past, revisit trends, then cycle forward with fresh and bountiful new perspectives.  You will actually experience joy and balance in your life.

Counseling is imperative, as it will not only save your profession, it can enhance your life, change your perceptions of your surroundings, and energetically beautify the lives of those whom are fortunate to be in your company. 

Please.  The time is now to Nurse Your Spirit.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is an outward act with enormously beautiful outcomes for yourself.  When one forgives, one energetically and automatically is given permission to detach from the negative circumstance. 

It may take a while to get to the point of forgiveness.  When we realize that holding on to the anger, shame and sadness associated with being wronged is no longer serving us a purpose, we let it go, let it fly into the ethers.

How, you may ask, is holding on to such dark feelings serving us a purpose?  Why do some people choose to stay stuck in the vortex of negativity? 

Very basically, when blame is placed on others, it provides a self serving platform on which we do not have to be responsible for ourselves, our actions, our feelings, our behaviors.  We justify our jadedness for the sake of not wanting to grow, or more likely, not feeling worthy enough to grow.  "The reason I am so miserable is because you made me feel that way.  I sort of like it this way, though, because when I am angry with you, it prevents me from having to deal with other things".

Truth be told, no one can "make" you feel any way.  You choose to feel how you feel.  Not a huge newsflash, yet it bears reiteration. 

Forgiveness can be truly frightening.  We can fear the unknown, we can fear the self accountability which is created by taking the wrong do-er off the hook. 

While this is difficult, as we tend to believe that the less we have to be responsible for makes for an easy breezy life, there is amazing self worth that occurs.  Self worth is Self love.  Self love is the energetic creation of healthy boundaries.

Forgiveness is empowering.

Have you forgiven someone today?

Why do nurses eat their young?

Typically, when mammals eat their young, it is an instinct which satisfies dominance.  There is a clear lack of emotional bond and attachment.  What creates their desire to dominate?  The young are simply perceived as a threat, that's what.   A threat to what, you ask?  To the natural progression of things.  To safety.  To the way things 'should' be.  Naturally, when referring to nurses who eat their young, they don't take a young-wet-behind-the-ears-new-graduate into the break room, season 'em up with condiments and literally ingest them.  Or, shall I say, I hope not.  Besides, this most probably requires the taking of a full lunch break, and who the heck has time for that. 

Let's be rationale.  For us human type mammals, it's safe to say that in this case, the word "eat" implies a sense of "control over", "I'll tell you a thing or two", and "who do you think you are bouncing in here all bright eyed and bushy tailed on my territory".  

Guess what it really means?

In case this is your first experience enjoying my blog, I like to utilize the analogy of pretending we live in the stone age to get points such as these across with humor and candor. 

Say you go to work your shift, and your manager indicates that perhaps they forgot to mention this to you, uh..but you are such a strong nurse that you are a new graduate's preceptor for the next 6 weeks.  You are wearing a uni-shouldered Betty Rubble frock, and are armed with a club.  You have a bone in your hair.  You are introduced to Penelope Perky, R.N.  Good grief, even her club is new and fancy. (Go figure, yours has been used a lot more).  A Littman drapes around her delicate swan-like neck, worn much like the Queen having just been coronated.  Her clogs, a pair of shiny white virgins never knowing the warm pleasures of vomit, MRSA, liquid stool and urine.  Her new name tag doesn't even have one lousy drop of blood on it, yet.  Penelope is eager, full of fresh ideas, channeling her inner Florence Nightingale, ready to change the world.   HA! What does she know!  Your eyes narrow into slits, your pupils are pinpoint.  You raise your club in the middle of morning report, ready to pounce on the threat to all that Is.  

Hold it right there.  Here is the time to evaluate.  Because you are a cave-person, you only speak in grunts, only experience feelings viscerally.  If you were to only have one word available to you to describe your reaction, what would it be?  What color is it?  'Where' do you feel it?

Why is it that you feel the need to strike?  You are evolved, intelligent and insightful.  Go beyond the primal instinct to devour.  What the heck is the problem here?

That evening when you are in Wilma's kitchen ready to make a pot of pterodactyl soup, boil this down also:

From my loving heart space to yours, I share this with you, clubs down.  Fear is the basis of all outward emotion.  Yes, Ms. Thang, Ms. I-can-catheterize-a-nun-in-the-dark, Ms. Go-to for all of your unit's tough blood draws, Ms. I am on first name basis with every physician who has practicing privileges within 500 miles.   You are fearful.  But, of what, and why?

Consider --

1. 
   
   Fear of change
2. 
   
   Fear of actualizing skill sets which you need work on
3. 
   
   Fear of being perceived as something less than you would like to be perceived as
4. 
   
   Fear of a shift in the hierarchy of your unit
5. 
   
   Fear of having to address issues about why you respond to things in the manner which you do
6. 
   
   Fear of growth
7. 
   
   Fear of other's acceptance of and the embracing of new staff
8. 
   
   Fear of not being able to feel safe
9. 
   
   Fear of the unexpected

Be secure in who you are.  Do self love and boundary work.  Elevate your consciousness for the sake of embracing the goodness of all.  Eliminate feelings of threat.  Forgive past circumstances for causing you pain and heart ache.  Love yourself enough to accomplish these things.  You are worthy of the care which you provide to others.  Be kind to new nurses. (They may have to give you an enema some day).  Above all, always remember to Nurse Your Spirit!

Do You Drink the Karmic Kool-Aid ?

How would you feel if I told you that before you were born, you chose your life time and you chose your circumstances (with all of it's consequences) in order to provide you with life lessons, all for the sake of preparing you to be a healer and giver?  How about if it were suggested to you that you have been divinely led to where you are because you are energetically capable to be the provider of comfort and healing to humanity during a New World Order?  What about the concept of you having agreed to accept the responsibility of a healer's life?  How's this:  Did you choose your parents and your upbringing in order to provide you with the nuances necessary to fulfill your Karmic agreement? 

Some of you may stop reading this right now.  That's alright.  Obviously, if you do not believe in the concepts of Karma or reincarnation as a result of traditional religious belief, or it simply does not make sense to you logically, this blog post may offend you.  If this is the case, please accept my apologies.  Make no mistake, though.  I only apologize for possibly offending you.  I do not apologize for my beliefs.  The reason?  I believe that all paths are valid and lead to the same truth.  Your beliefs are just as valid as mine.  My beliefs are just as valid as yours.  We simply arrive at Truth in different ways.

Why is this an important subject to raise?  Because one of my life's lessons in order to fulfill my soul's agreement is to teach tolerance and respect, the importance of self love and healthy boundaries to other healers.  How do I know that this is one of my life's lessons?  Because of being on the receiving end of much manipulation and dysfunctional toxicity during my upbringing.  Intuitively I know that I chose these rotton circumstances, and sure enough, they appeared.  And for them, I am grateful.  I was faced with a future of energtically giving to others what I was receiving- judgement, blurred boundaries and misery.  Free choice and free will met me eye to eye, and I chose the high road.  I love being who I am.  It is because of the life lessons I chose to take on that I am the healer I am today. 

I ask you to take a reflective look at the circumstances which have arisen in your life.  Take a look inward.  What led you to healing?  Did you bounce back from a neglectful child hood?  Do you have abandonment issues?  Is your ego stroked when you give care to others?  Do you give from your ego, or from your soul, which only knows compassion?

Just ponder.  Remember you are worthy yourself of the care and nurture which you provide to others, and always Nurse Your Spirit!

Nurses! Interview Your Interviewer

Warning:  Please be advised that while the tone of this particular blog post  is a bit biting and sarcastic, (I had a little fun poking and painting a picture of a manager I think we have all at least once encountered), professionalism, warmth, respect and open communication are keys to a successful relationship with your manager.  Off we go.

Well, congratulations!  You made it through your first interview with the clicky - heeled - human - resources specialist.  Now, you are about to be escorted (or not ) to visit the unit to which you have applied.  On top of this fireball of excitement, you will be interviewed by your prospective unit manager.  Isn't that fantastic. A job!  You are perhaps nervous, and rightfully so.  You actively sought this position, cleaned up your resume, cleared your mind and prepared your responses so that anyone who wouldn't hire you could be easily considered a blockhead.  This individual is a blockhead if they don't expect you to be sizing them up as well. 

You know the saying that is really appropriate for a health care workplace setting, "Crap trickles downhill"?  It does, and we all know it, no matter where on the hill your vantage point may be.  By nature in any corporate hierarchical environment, this just is what is is.  What I am getting at is this:  If your to-be manager lacks what you feel to be a sense of boundaries, is wishy-washy, gets easily caught up in manipulation or becomes all giggly and excited about silly things, then, beware, oh, yes indeed, beware.

These behaviors are indicative of a dreadfully weak leader who needs your energy in order to survive and feel liked..  In this case, this manager's modus operandi (which they are usually unaware of)  is to obtain their sense of self esteem extrinsically, through you, when it should be to set an example through strength.  You as a staff level employee will end up catching all the flies, get knotted up in their dysfunction, become marinated in muddy toxicity and be forced to partake  the "he said she said game" of professional codependent hopscotch.  Your position is difficult and challenging under the best of circumstances, let alone having to function in an unhealthy health care work environment by being responsible for your manager's feelings.  Seriously, beware.  The unit manager sets the tone for the unit. The unit manager is not only responsible to manage and oversee the daily operations of the unit  but in a very real sense, manages the flow and the energy of the work environment as well.

I think back to an interview for a nursing position that I had during my active nursing career.  One of the questions posed to me was, "what are your expectations of me as your unit manager"?  I thought, that is a good question.  My response was, for you to be a strong leader, to be supportive of your staff.  The look on her face was one of, "this chick must be crazy".   I was offered the position however,  and in observing her role as my unit manager over the proceeding three years, it was clear that the word "supportive" is what choked her, as she didn't know how I defined it.  I felt the word "supportive"  spoke for itself.  She perceived  that I felt that for her to be supportive meant a free ticket for me not to be accountable.  Wow, Oh Brother, and other expletives.  This was a valuable lesson. 

In addition to the obvious discussions which are part of the interview process, such as staff/patient ratios, unit policies, etc., here are some diagnostic concepts and questions which you can use in order to identify potential red flags in the psyche of your prospective manager. Tap into your instinctual stethoscope and never, ever discount your intuition, as this is why you have been attracted to the healing arts. Your intuition is impeccable.  You hear me?  Alright, onward.

1. Request that the manager take you on a tour of the unit, if it is not offered to you.
2. Observe the interactions (verbal and non-verbal) between the manager, staff, patients and family members.
3. Ask your interviewer who their manager is and what this individual's interactions are with the unit.
4. Beware of compliments.  Statements such as, "I really like you already"  only indicates the individual's desire for you to "like" them already.
5. Ask what they feel makes them an effective manager.
6. Professionally communicate what your expectations are in a manager.
7. If the manager does not do this, incorporate the word "supportive" into the conversation.  Make sure you define what this word means to you.  Professionally inquire what it means to them.
8. Ask about staff turn over rates.
9. Know your innate sense of self worth and above all;
10. Walk confidently on your healing path, and always Nurse Your Spirit.

Dealing with Bullies in the Healthcare Workplace

I know that you know that they know that I know that you know that if you work in a professional healthcare environment of any type, be it a hospital, clinic, insurance company, long term care facility or even on a cruise ship, you have encountered "The Bully".  You know just who I am referring to, don't you?  The bitchy manipulator who always seems to get their way and will "sick their clique" on ya, just for the sake of their entertainment.  Actually, it's no so much entertainment than it is the Bully's need to feel better about themselves.  Poor Bully.  Poor sense of self worth and self esteem, Bully. 

Bullying behavior is actually a dysfunctional coping mechanisim that an individual incorporates into their reality as a method of protection from harm.  These individuals are always right and clearly have more experience and knowledge than anyone who is fortunate to be in their company.  Or, so they like to project.  However the truth is on some level that these folks have been shamed, victimized or traumatized in their early life, and they will be damned if you or anyone will be considered better than them, in any way. 

While this indeed is an unfortunate circumstance for them, you as their co-worker do not need to tolerate their lack of desire to address their pathologic issues.  As adults, we have a responsiblity in the workplace to function as professionals.  We also have the right to protect ourselves from another's unhealthy behaviors by embracing boundaries.  Yeah, that's what creates these monsters.  So, the next obvious question is, what steps can you take in order to minimize the bully's impact on your work day?

1. Visualize them hanging upside down by their toenails, screaming for mercy.  Stop.  That's mean.
2. Test the waters:  When you are being spoken to by a bullying individual, try to tap into what they are not able to say. 
3. Imagine as though the interaction is taking place at the Flintstone residence.  If you only had clubs and communicated with grunts, what primal emotions would surface?  You will realize that Bullys live in fear.
4. When a Bully or one of their indoctrinated posse attempts communication with you and the tone is that of  humiliation, never respond with venom.  React with cool professionalism.   Your reaction will set the tone for an increasingly healthy work relationship, as by not lashing back, you are employing healthy boundaries.  This will automatically and energetically shift the tone of your relationship.
5. Confrontation only serves to spit gasoline on the Bully's firey behavior. 
6. Remain true to yourself.  Remember that you deserve a safe and healthy workplace environment.  Your outward tone will dictate to others that you expect a respectful and professional experience.